McRib - the Brett Favre of Sandwiches

McDonald's just dealt my waistline some devastating news: the McRib is back. Deemed disgusting by 85% of America (53% of statistics are made up), the 15% of people like me who love this processed meat delight get positively giddy when they learn that it's available for sale.

In the 1990's the McRib was available periodically as a specialty sandwich, but never on the permanent menu. Then, in 2005, a clever McDonald's marketer created the McRib Farewell Tour to scare fanboys like me into believing this was our last chance to have our beloved sandwich. I ate a world of McRibs that year...effectively reducing my life expectancy from 76 to around 49 years. When the "Farewell Tour" ended, so too did my passion for McDonald's.

Then came 2006, when McDonald's proudly launched the McRib Farewell Tour II. I was again a loyal customer, visiting nearly on a weekly basis. Then, the Brett Favre of fast food sandwiches was back again in 2007 for the McRib Farewell Tour III.

And now it's back again...

Enough already!

Consumers are smarter than this aren't they? Surely the reaction to these publicity stunts is negative, right?

Not sure. At the end of the day, whether I think McDonald's is playing me like an idiot or not, I will continue to buy McRibs (and totally disgust my wife). Is there a credit union lesson in here?

OK, I'm not going to encourage you to mislead your membership. But how about seasonal offerings? One of my favorite examples of a seasonal CU offering was Industrial CU's share certificate program last year that tied their rate to the number of yards the Seattle Seahawks gained each week. If they gained 450 yards in total offense, a 4.50% APY certificate was available. Cool program, right? It generates excitement, plays on local interests, and gives members a compelling reason to think about their credit union each time they see their favorite team's box score.

How about making every, say, February your credit union's official online bill pay month with incentives given for new sign-ups and number of bills paid?

Take a page from Discover Card's book, and offer extra rewards points or cash back on purchases in certain categories at different times of the year.

I think my point is that maybe McDonald's has learned that having the same menu 24/7/365 is boring. So too, is offering the same financial products/services at your credit union all the time. If you're creative, who knows? Maybe you can expand your membership like McDonald's has expanded my waist.

It's Not Nice to Tease

I hate teaser rates.

Don't get me wrong, I understand why financial institutions use teaser rates. After all, getting new customers/members in the door is immensely easier when you can boast 0.9% APR car loans or 10% APY certificates. Truth be told, I have taken advantage of at least two credit card offers that promised a 0% APR intro rate for 12-18 months. For the responsible, intelligent consumer these teaser/intro offers can be great deals. Let's be honest, though, these companies don't offer teaser rates to be nice. And they surely expect to make money off of the deal.

What does that mean to most consumers? At least one of three things: 1) Deep in the 45 lines of fine print there is a "GOTCHA" line (assuming you can decipher the legalese) that explains how the deal will make your financial institution very wealthy; 2) The CMO behind the offer understands that most people receiving the offer will be either too irresponsible or too lazy to take full advantage of it; or 3) The deal you THINK you're getting is likely a far cry from what you are actually getting in the long run.

The message that your company is willing to deceive people to get their business is bad enough. But something I received in the mail yesterday has convinced me that teaser rates are wrong for yet another reason.

Sallie Mae sent me a letter to tell me that they lowered my interest rate on student loans to 3.010% APR because I have made 48 consecutive on-time payments. A reverse teaser rate? What a concept! Instead of raising my price over time because I'm hooked into a contract, Sallie Mae lowers my rate because I am paying as agreed. I scratch their back, they scratch mine.

Financial institutions, take note. Want a relationship with me? Want loyalty? Then don't give me your best deal up front. Instead, reward me through time for being a good customer/member. Offer a good rate up front, and promise your audience that the deal only gets better through time.

Want transience? Want disloyalty? Keep proving to me that my first impression was as good as it's going to get.

Will you be able to sell this to everyone? Maybe not. But you won't find yourself wondering why you can't retain your membership/customer base when your competitor down the road comes out with his latest/greatest teaser rate.

Dear Mr. Direct Mailer...

Dear Mr. Direct Mailer,

I don't hate you. As a marketer myself, I understand that sometimes direct mail is the best way to get your message in front of your target market.

You've gotten sloppy, though. A few weeks ago, you sent me a customized catalog from the NFL Shop "personalized" with Philadelphia Eagles gear. Uhhh...I hate the Eagles. I know you may think I like the Eagles because I bought a Brian Westbrook jersey from you last year as a prize for a Football Pick'em 2007 monthly winner. Of the eight items I've bought from you in the past, your database will clearly show, seven of them were Indianapolis Colts items. That makes me a Colts fan...not an Eagles fan.

A few days later, you sent a letter to my wife on behalf of John McCain. This was very nice. In the package, you included an autographed picture of Senator McCain and his wife, Cindy (along with a "picture receipt confirmation" to be mailed back in with a sizable monetary donation). My wife's name is Devon. SHE is a woman. In fact, she's a drop-dead gorgeous woman. So why did you address the package to MR. Devon Davis? Do you think she likes it that you assumed she was a man? Though I on occasion dress in drag, I do not like it when you call my wife Mister. Besides, why risk using a title anyway? There's no reward and a reasonable chance of being wrong.

And why do you on behalf of Capital One, CitiBank, and American Express send my wife and I the exact same direct mail piece on the same day? If the offer is "exclusive" why do two people under the same roof get the same offer? Do you think this makes it more likely that your message will be read or considered? Does your database not know to eliminate duplicate entries at the same mailing address?

You see, Mr. (Mrs.? Ms.? Madam?) Direct Mailer, I totally understand that sophisticated databases have made modern mass mailings possible. I just think you should realize that a successful campaign doesn't risk using incorrect and unnecessary information.

Sincerely,
Mister Mr. Devon Davis

A Maddening Idea

EA Sports' Madden '08 was released yesterday. At lunch, I drove over to Best Buy and picked up a copy. Besides the amazingly high $60.00 price, one thing struck me about this transaction. I now own every Madden Football release since 1994. And in nearly every case, I purchased these games the very same day they were released.

Now don't get me wrong, this is a great game! But that's some serious cash I've dropped on mindless entertainment.

How many other people out there do the exact same thing? I'd wager there are quite a few. This got me thinking. Can a credit union build community out of non-financial services? What about a video game library?

Young adults (anyone for that matter) could open a "Video Game Account" (not clever, I know...just came up with this idea) that would allow access to the credit union's video game library. To check out a game, members must have a balance equal to the market price of the game and must make a $5.00 deposit. If the game never gets returned, no sweat...the savings deposit serves as collateral. A la Netflix, keep the game as long as you want as long as you make monthly deposits into your account. The member enjoys a free video game library and is voluntarily becoming a good saver. The credit union attracts young members for a small investment and increases deposits.

Supplement this idea with monthly video game tournaments on location or online for ways to win bonus deposits to members' accounts.

This could work for books, video games, wedding/prom dresses, all sorts of things... There, I said it. Patented thought exhibitionism - what do you all think?